Late Monday morning, while I was doing some catch up recordings, I noticed I had a phone call 2x’s from the same number. I listened to the message. It was a mom of an athlete from the west coast. I had never spoken to her or her son before. She had gotten my contact info from another parent in California. She wanted me to call her asap. I did and upon speaking to her, she sounded sad, worried and desperate. Her son was struggling. He had never struggled before until this past high school season. She said she told him adversity is good; learn from it to get better. But he spiraled downward quickly. She said I was her last ditch effort to help him. I spoke to him later that day. The great player who was once excited about competing was now questioning whether he is good enough anymore. It wasn’t fun anymore, it was stressful. His self talk was 100% defeating him. His coaches were also saying some terribly negative things to him instead of lifting him up, which didn’t help at all. His drive and motivation was at an all time low. Oh, and by the way, the kid is committed to a very well known D1 school for his sport.
I see this with so many athletes. When things begin to get rough, they question themselves, overthink and then say things internally that actually hurt their performances. They think they’re saying the right things to themselves during competition yet many of them are saying things that do the exact opposite. And some athletes and coaches think if they speak negatively, it’s going to motivate them but it absolutely does not.
Self talk is super powerful. It can be detrimental or beneficial. It can make or break an athlete (or anyone!) It can be your biggest fan or your worse enemy.
Worked with him Tuesday and woke up to a text from him this morning. It said, “Thank you so much! I feel like the heaviness has lifted. This is wild!” That’s after only 3 days of listening to his recording and using his self talk tools. Wait til next week and the week after, I told him. ⭐️
Powerful, Positive Self Talk is one of 4 main actionable tools I teach my clients. The other 3 are Visualization/Mental Imagery, Deep Breathing and inner mind work/subconscious retraining (calming the mind).
Say uplifting and/or neutral things to yourself as you’re about to compete. Leave out any negative thoughts or words. Only say what you want to see happen….not what you don’t want to see. Be careful with your words (and coaches: be careful what you’re saying to them. Don’t you want the best out of them?)
Making this small change will make a huge difference.
Comments